Fathers and Finances

Before the Industrial Revolution men and women spent most of their time together. After WWII women went to work and since then they have continued to work. This has created a rift in the family dynamics. They are not as close as they used to be. This has also created rifts in many other aspects in families such as marriage, husband and wife relationships, and children and parent relationships. Father's have felt most of the brunt of the burden on themselves to provide for the family if the the mother does not work, and other financial issues. If the family went from a two income family to a one or visa versa then that becomes difficult. If the family went to a two income family they might think they can spend more and end up running out because they weren't thinking and weren't planning ahead. If a family went from two incomes down to one then they need to refine what is most important to buy, what is really necessary and to get by until the next paycheck comes. This will change the structure of the family. Some of the kids might have to pick up the slack when the parents goes to work. If mom has been the primary care taker and then goes off to work then she will need some help and assistance with the care of the kids, home and family. But if the kids work out something to help mom, it might not be as bad, and may even draw them closer together instead of futher apart.

The Lord knows us better than we do

The Lord blesses each and everyone of us in different ways. The Lord knows where we are suppose to be each time and places us in different situations for a specific reason that we may never know. Thinking back when we moved each time I think we were sent to a specific place at a specific reason and we were meant to meet certain people at that time and experience certain things that we would not have experienced anywhere else. I was not ready to go to college right after high school. I was suppose to wait, because otherwise I would not have the friends I have now. I would not have been ready to be in the Interior Design program 5 years ago, Emotionally, Physically, and Mentally. At the time I graduated from high school it didn't feel right, so I kept putting it off. I finally had the nerve to turn in my application for the interior design program and I got in. I had prayed a little about this decision and decided if I got in then I would go, but if I didn't then I would figure out something else. But the Lord knew that I needed to be here at this time for a specifice reason. I had no idea what it would be and why at the time. I'm glad the Lord knows us and we can put our trust in him and he will lead us where we need to go. Otherwise I would have never met the friends I have and I am grateful for him. In class today I felt a confirmation that this is where I am suppose to be at this time and it such a welcome relief. Not that I had questioned my major, but this major is hard and didn't know if I should turn around and do something else. But I'm grateful for this confirmation. I wouldn't have been ready 5 years ago but now I am ready for whatever comes my way. Thank you Lord.

Crisis in Families

A family crisis will happen. When they do happen we need to know how to deal with it. Hill talks about the ABCX model

           A- Actual Event
           B-Both Resources and Responses

           C-cognitions (Thoughts)

Total EXperience

In each crisis situation you can go to this model. To give a personal example of this my father has lost his jobs multiple times and this is the actual event. The resources my father and my family used at these different times was searching for a job every waking moment of the day. Pray to know where exactly would be the best place for the family. As far as the responses within the family we had to be a little tighter on the money situation. We had to lean on each other to survive the crisis and hope we make it out alive. Cognitions our thoughts on the crisis - it sucks real bad. We just had to have hope and have trust in the Lord that he would lead us where we needed to be and hope that the right people would hire my dad. We had to start fresh each time we moved so new friends, environment, living situation, etc. Total experience I feel like it brought the family closer. We lean on each other in times of crisis. My best friends are my sibilings.

When crisis/stressful things happens we can't dwell on the negative. Be positive. Recognize the untrue thoughts and get rid of them. It is our spirit that tells us what to do. If we think negative thoughts in such severe crisis it will lead individuals to be depressed. One thing to really help someone pull out of depression is to change their thoughts. Find something for that individual to live for and strive for to do better and LOVE life again. Change your thoughts.

Intimacy

Intimacy between husband and wife is very sacred and should not be ashamed. Why we do it is to express our love to our spouse, bond souls, and on a more spiritual level it facilitates a more closeness with god, and renew our covenant.

Sometime you might feel like you are not confident in this area, but you need to have patience. Express your concerns to each other how to make this experience better for the both of you. Talk through your problems, issues and let the other person in the relationship know how you are feeling and where you are coming from. Maybe the person was molested or abused as a child or have other issues. Try to work them out between the two of you. If it still isn't fixed, you might need to seek professional help.
This is serious and we shouldn't treat intimacy as all fun and games. It should strictly be between husband and wife and no other people.